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2009 - FIX THE REDS - THE CLARK PLAN
Click
here for the 2008 plan
Click here for the 2009 plan
I can't fix the Reds alone (well, I probably can) - send
me your fixes
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How do you
FIX THE REDS? to give me your fixes
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2010 User Comments on how to FIX THE REDS
for some entertaining posts
Various User Comments on how to Fix the Reds prior to 2010
Click here for my historical view of the progression of steroid denials

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Fire Dusty Baker
Hal wrote "He (Dusty) avoids it studiously so the opposition can’t bring in a
left-handed pitcher to face Bruce and Votto back-to-back." - man, that is one
dumb Dusty. Charlie Manual bats three lefties in a row against a RH starter
and makes it the other teams problem to deal with it. Dusty will flip
r,l,r,l,r,l regardless of the better hitter (or their actual production
against RH or LH pitchers) because he thinks it is smart, not because it does
anything to produce runs. Is it 2011 yet?Two schools of
thought for Dusty and the Reds - I want the Reds to do well but not well
enough that they don't fire Dusty by August. Year three of this slow
burn of bad managing and bad teams. If they contend, then they might
want to keep him. Kinda like Obama, I would like the country to succeed
but not too much that he gets a second term - but if he fails horribly, we
might end up with the ex-Gov of Alaska and her incredible stupidity.
That would be like going from Dusty back to Bob Boone. Which leads me to
thinking - I wonder if Bob Boone can see Alaska from his hot tub?
Hopefully Dusty doesn't have the entire pitching staff getting operated on by
June.
Along with Dusty being fired, they need to fire pitching
coach Dick Pole and all of the other coaches except Billy Hatcher. We
all can't get lucky like Alaska residents did and expect Baker to do a Sarah Palin and quit. The Eskimos had to be happy. Now - aside from the
Reds being horrible - we have an added national security threat because Palin
won't be keeping Vladimir Putin in check when she looks west each morning
while drinking a cup of coffee. So we need to fire Baker as there is a
lot of baseball in August and September for the new coaches to figure out who
to keep for 2010.
As usual, we'll start with the obvious thing to fix the
reds which is to fire Dusty ... just like last year, Dusty wasted 25% of the
season playing his favorites and not playing guys who are obviously better -
last year, we watched him played Patterson (the little shit) and Hattenberg
rather than Bruce and Votto ... this year, we got to watch the insanity of
watching Dusty play McDonald - how can any manager watch McDonald have an At
Bat and think McDonald's worthy of a roster spot. He was awful every
time he played. Gomes is younger and has a track record of at least some
level of success. It's kind of like why Republicans still wheel Dick
Cheney in front of the camera and let him talk. Every time they do, they
look even dumber than usual. No way a Lou Piniella or a Cito Gaston
would ever let McDonald on their team, let alone play him. Dusty wants guys on
the roster that simply are not any good - last year Patterson - and this
year's version, McDonald. Dusty sent down Gomes for this ass-clown
McDonald. Gomes is younger, more experienced, better hitter and a team
leader. McDonald is about 80% as good as Taveres and that is not saying
much. In fact Taveres is a little shaky -
too but he has had a couple good
years and he plays hard so we'll give him some room. McDonald, once
released, will not get picked up by any of the other 29 teams but yet he
starts sometimes for the Reds. |
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Play Rosales, not EE at 3B -
Wow, we went
from younger and lazy with EE to older and broken in Rolen. Not a big
fan of a guy who had LaRussa and Larry Bowa both wanting to kill him.
Rolen seems a little prickly like Jeff Kent did - and we're paying Rolen $6
million a year for the next three years or so. He's 34 or 35 now and one
could say that his best years are behind him. He is certainly an upgrade
to EE but the problem is that we have him for the next three years at $6
million a year (or about 10% of the payroll) so is a 34 year old guy with a
long history of getting hurt worth 10% of your payroll? I say doubtful
to no.
The Reds don't have any good 3B so it doesn't matter who they play. I
suppose they stick EE there and worry about the kids sitting in rows 1-14
behind first base.
Actually they should play Hairston at 3B all the time.
Not sure Rosales is that good and I know I don't like EE. I do
not like EE's energy level, hustle, defense or the way he looks bored - he
also didn't produce many runs for 26 HR's in 2008 and he doesn't run
hard to first on ground balls, Rosales plays like Rose/Sabo and - one of my
personal favorites - Shawon Dunston who I once witnessed running to first base
- in the 9th inning on a 95 degree day game in which the Cubs were winning
10-4 - and he ran to first like Game 7 of the World Series ... Rosales can
also hit and play defense. When EE comes back, Rosales plays 3B on the
Clark Plan ... |
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McDonald really sucks -
We're all
waiting for the 2010 version of Dusty's mini-me. In 2008, we had
Patterson and in 2009 McDonald. Who's next? Perhaps Nefi Perez can
show up and suck, or perhaps an ex-Cub with a limp can fly to Arizona in
February and convince Dusty him he can still hit.
Amazingly he passed waivers so the Reds stuck him in AAA where he is hitting
.310 - maybe the hitting coach in AAA actually coaches.
Now he really sucks in AAA ... See above
in the Fire Dusty Baker section |
 | Phillips can't bat 4th -
See below
... The hustle thing in
LA was no big deal as Phillips walks to first on flyballs all the time.
This fly ball was dropped so it looked bad. To make a point Baker should
have taken him out of that game immediately. By benching him the next
game after all of the uproar, it made Baker look like he was doing it to save
his reputation, not to punish Phillips. And Phillips should not be
batting 4th, Gomes should bat 4th and play all of the time. This will never
change so we all get to live with it I know Phillips likes to bat 4th ... but I
would like a revolving door of women to show up at my house with Grey Goose
and some lotion - but it doesn't work that way. Phillips is a horrible
#4 hitter but Dusty bats him 4th because Phillips likes it there. I know
Phillips likes it there because he told me (well I was in a group) at the
Season Ticket Holders luncheon. Dusty would rather be a "player's
manager" and do what Phillips needs rather than put the best lineup on the
field. Phillips could bat anywhere but 1st and 4th. |
 | Votto and Bruce should bat 3rd and 4th -
Scott
Rolen should bat in-between these two guys - so bat Votto 3rd, Rolen 4th and
Bruce 5th. Hell while we're here, lead of Sutton CF, then Phillips,
Joey, Scotty and Bruce, then Dickerson, then whomever is at SS and C and then
the Pitcher. And I wouldn't mind flipping Dickerson to batting second
and Phillips batting sixth against tougher righthanded pitching. Not a
big fan of Phillips batting in the top five anyway.
Actually the lineup should be Lead-off hitter, Phillips, Votto, Gomes, Bruce,
and as they sang in Gilligan's Island "...and the rest ...".
The
Phillies' manager has batted five lefties in a row this year with the
explanation that he would rather try and win the games in the early to mid
innings with his best lineup than worry about the 8th inning when he may or
may not be behind. Wow! What a novel idea Dusty ... putting your
best lineup on the field all the time. Call the Phillies and ask for
some help. ... should bat 3rd and 4th against RH pitchers. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Two lefties back to back??? What if, what
if, what if, the other big bad manager puts a LH reliever in the game and he,
he, he pitches to both Votto and Bruce. Listen, put your best hitters
higher in the order. Believe me, a RH pitcher is not happy seeing Votta
and Bruce coming up back to back in the early innings and perhaps Dusty, just
perhaps, you have more leads late in the game rather than being behind in the
game because Phillips is hitting .178. |
 | Dickerson is a role player, not a starter -
I actually kinda
like this guy now. Unfortunately, he still isn't good enough to play
Leftfield for 90% of MLB teams. We have him, he's cheap and he tries
hard (whatever that means).
He is at least as good as Willie Taverez though.
Dusty tried to not play the better player but the forces of nature finally
caught up with him and he was forced to not play Dickerson who was Dusty's
"pre-determined, don't give me any data as I already know I am playing
Dickerson regardless if Ted Williams and Barry Bonds produced a son and taught
him everything they ever knew about baseball before Ted's head was frozen and
Bonds' balls shrank. Lance Nix is a much better player than
Dickerson, he is a better hitter and a better fielder. |
 | Gomes needs to be on the 25 man roster -
They did
not sign him or offer him arbitration so unless Gomes has no self-esteem, he
won't be with the Reds in 2010. That's the last time he'll play decent
defense, hit home runs and hustle - all it did was get him cut ... but we kept
Dickerson and Taverez - who knows maybe
Verne Troyer is available.
Now
that he is on the 25 man roster, Dusty screws it up more by only playing him
against LH pitchers.
Well
there you go ... eventually the Reds come around to the Clark Plan but
generally it is 6 weeks too late with the season already in the tank.
Gomes and Nix is a
1000-suns brighter platoon in LF than Dickerson/McDonald. Dusty is
simply too dumb to figure it out. And it will be June and the Reds will
be out of it again before Walt tells him to do it. |
 | Leave AG at SS -
AG was a good
fielder but so was Juan Castro and they both hit about the same but one was
making millions of dollars and the other one millions of peso's - so it's good
that AG is gone. Who will play SS? Janish? Phillips move
from 2B? Mike Galle?? Who knows - one thing for certain, we better
not sign that freeking Miguel "Casadabasadamonswada" Tejada.
Still leave him here but he always gets hurt. Only two more months and
he will be gone forever. He is a very good
fielder and if I was pitching, I would want AG at SS. If he continues to
hit .180, then perhaps you move him but I believe he will hit .240 or better
... but I leave him at SS anyway and worry about something else. |
 | Duct Tape George Grande to a slow-moving train
out of Cincinnati -
Finally, The
Clark Plan scores a home run when the Reds told George to get lost.
Amazingly, George talked the entire time that he was getting fired and left
the meeting thinking he and Chris Welsh were going to have lunch and talk
about chicks. As I wrote below, George is the nicest guy in the world
but wearing bad cologne, being dumb as hell, and talking non-stop can only get
you so far in life. I was in Cleveland for the Reds series and stayed at the
Marriott (where the Reds also stay) and in walks GG - so I said hi and shook
his hand and he told me I was responsible for the runs in Sunday's game and on
and on and on - two things, he had some nasty cologne that was stinking up the
joint and he appears to be quite dumb - which might explain why he says the
same thing every game and never shuts the hell up.
The best thing about going to
the Reds game is you don't have to listen to GG talk like a crack addict
trying to score some blow ... worst thing about going to the Reds games is
witnessing a group of hillbillies in the row in front of you throw racial
slurs around while dipping Skoal, drinking a beer an inning and saying things
like "geeedaheetyadumbass" get'emon/get'emover/get'emin ... can the guy
just shut the hell up for a second? I've met George a few times, nicest
guy in the world, but you don't have to talk every friggin second of the game.
Chris Welsh must want to throw him out of the Press Box sometimes. |
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