Pete Rose

Being a baseball historian, I get asked this question a lot ... "Do you (meaning me moron) think Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame?"

Many are shocked when I answer "no" (and I always answer no) ... and then they want to start arguing with me about why he should be in the HOF.  I usually say back "Why the fuck did you ask me if all you wanted to do was prattle on and on the same stupid nonsense I have heard since 1989?"

Here are the top reasons people think he should be in the HOF:

• He has more hits than anyone in baseball ( ... I think Elton John has had more hits although he and Pete are tied for the most showers taken with men)
   

• He has played in more winning games than any player ever in any sport ( ... he has also played in the most losing games too.  So I am guessing that even the most math challenged idiots on the planet can figure out he also played in the most total games.)
   

• He had a Chinese haircut ( ... Hey, could you cut it like Moe)
   

• Other players have done coke, steroids, heroin and stay in baseball ( ... this is true and as soon as doing drugs means a lifetime ban from baseball, they can stay the fuck out too.  As of now, it is against the rules to do drugs but you do not get a lifetime ban ... I hate it when people fuck up their lives and then look around to see some shit someone else did and try to compare their fuck-up with the other person's fuck-up to minimize their own punishment)
   

• HOF players like Cobb and others were drunks, racists or worse ( ... Hell I drink and I've known a few racists dumbasses in my day - I stay away from those shitheads but last I looked, you don't get a lifetime ban for using the "N" word - you just get your ass kicked as you should.)
   

• He is the best ambassador for baseball ( ... oh for fuck's sake, Pete is definitely the best ambassador for the American Bullshit Academy - as for baseball ambassador, he can go do a headfirst slide into Rosie O'Donnell's crotch)
   

I hear some other stupid things but since Pete Rose played in the most games ever, he might have seen the sign/poster that is in every clubhouse in baseball that states if you bet on baseball, you will be banned from the game.  He bet, he got caught ( ... and he got caught when the bookies turned on him when he would not pay off his losses as I guess it was always considered "cool" to be taking Pete's action.  I'm sure they floated him some slack so they could keep their access to him as he was the manager of the Reds and the biggest thing in Cincinnati.  But eventually, you have to collect and when he stalled for the 1000th time, it all turned bad.) and then he got the lifetime ban.

Then he denied betting on baseball for 15 years or so ... and when he finally decided to let the truth out, did he call a press conference and say he was sorry for lying all those years and hope everyone will forgive him?

 No - he wrote a book and admitted to betting on baseball in the book as a mechanism for getting more people to buy the book.

So, in essence, he "Sold" the truth instead of "Told" the truth.

He ain't going into any HOF ... or Rosie O'Donnell's crotch for that matter.