FIX THE REDS - THE CLARK PLAN

                                                                Last year in white font

                                                                2009 in yellow font          

	Fire Dusty Baker - he is the one who got his buddy Patterson hired and started him for two months in CF; he's the one who platooned two lefthanded hitting 1B for the first three to four weeks of the season; he's the one who let the young arms Cuerto and Volquez bat for themselves in the 6th or 7th inning, then took them out the next inning after throwing 20 more pitches; he's the one who has these guys swinging at the first pitch all time; he's the one sat Votto against Greg Maddox last Sunday and played Valentin at 1B (catching Ross) and then said he started Valentin cause he has a good track record against Maddox (Earth to Dusty - catch Valentin, play Votto and sit Ross); he's the one who did not know that Patterson - his leadoff hitter - at one point was 0-23 (his response was "really, he's been hitting the ball); Obviously Walt Jockerty doesn't listen to Baker's stupidity like Krivsky since Baker's staring CF and starting 1B from his Opening Day roster have been sent to the Minors and released.  We fired a Cincy legend (Perez) for a lot less.  I'm sure the players love him which is always a bad sign.  1. Does Walt have the guts or the authority to fire him (and the entire coaching staff too)?  2. Is Dusty the problem?  Answer to Question #1 is probably not on both counts.  Answer to Question #2 is Yes.  With two years remaining on his contract and knowing the Reds' won't win anything in 2009, Walt will let Dusty stay next year and stink up the joint again while the players get a little better, then in November of 2009, he'll fire Dusty with just one year remaining and bring in his own manager.  Dusty will finish with a 140-184 record over his two years and be filed under "sucked" in Reds' history.  12/29/08 Update - we signed the fast Willie "Heaven must be missing an Angel" Taveres who might be good, might be bad but certainly is not the answer to this team's woes.  With his 2008 onbase % of .308, he will fit right into Baker's philosophy of not clogging up the bases.  Having Dusty Baker for two more years feels like what 2006 felt like when you realized there was still two more of Bush.  Actually having Dusty around knowing Bush is leaving in 9 days makes it worse seeing as we now have to keep Dusty when the free world gets their first break in 8 years.  Who knows how long we have to put up with Dusty - Walt can always fire him, perhaps the Season Ticket Holders should be able to Impeach the manager with a 2/3 vote.  It's early but Dusty may have a difficult time playing the wrong guys this year.  I would go Taverez, Bruce, Phillps, Votto, EE, Dickerson, Hernandez, Gonzalez, and start Harang, Volquez, Arroyo and two of Cuerto, Bailey, Owings - against tough Lefthanded pitchers - put Hairston in LF and bat him second - flip Votto and Phillips and bat Bruce 6th.  Let's hope Dusty realizes this isn't a HR hitting club and doesn't have them do a Corey and swing at everything early and often - you know Dusty, not a lot of thinking, just a lot of swinging.
	Trade Bailey - Ok if you don't want to trade him, bring him up and let him take Fogg's spot in long relief or Beliese rotation spot and move Beliese to Fogg's spot, but let's not wait for him to pitch 5 straight no-hitters in AAA before we declare him ready ... I heard he's a dick actually so I say trade him to Boston and let Ortiz and Ramirez haze him into oblivion. UPDATE - HE GOT CALLED UP, HE SUCKED AGAIN, HE'S BACK DOWN AND HE'S STILL A DICK.  no real answers here with Homer - perhaps he sucks or with former Red Kyle Loshe at 13-4 with the Cardinals and former Red Ryan Dempster with a dozen wins with the Cubs, perhaps Dick Pole is a horrible pitching coach.  12/29/08 Update - what do to with the Texas turd?  No spot in the rotation, too much a dick to have in the Bullpen, pitched like crap in the Majors so can't get much for a trade, too young and talented to give-up on, and too hyped to ignore.  Screw it, leave him in AAA and see what happens.  Lot of talk of Bailey for Dye ... won't happen.  Hal McCoy wrote that Bailey is changed man and throwing strikes - good ... that Dye trade would have been a real bad trade ...
	Sign Dunn for 3-5 more years - $15 million for 4 years ... we'll pay just as much to get another player who goes 40-100-100-100 every year. UPDATE - NO UPDATE EXCEPT WE SHOULD SIGN HIM TODAY SINCE HE HAS MADE LIKE 50 OUTS IN A ROW, MAYBE HE'LL SIGN FOR A LITTLE LESS WHILE IN A SLUMP.  or trade him for three guys no one has ever heard of - it's obvious Dunn told them he was planning to be a Free Agent and with the Reds not being able to sign this year's #1 draft pick, why get two more you can't sign.  Trade him and at least get three guys already playing professional baseball.  12/29/08 Update - has not signed anywhere ... bad time to be a one-dimensional free agent.  Still not signed but once Manny signs, all of the others will fall into place too.  $10 million a year and a two year contract ... I also liked Dunn and he couldn't have expected the economies of the game to change, but turning down a $45 million deal with the Reds did backfire on him.
	Play Keppinger at SS when he returns - Actually, I don't even think Baker can screw this one up  Keppinger has really sucked since he came back from his injury ... I'd keep him for next year anyway.
	Play Gonzales at SS and Keppinger at 3B when Gonzales returns - I kinda like Gonzales and without a doubt the pitchers would rather have Gonzo/Keppinger on the left side of the infield.  Gonzales may be good again next year but if another team wants him, work a deal and trade him freeing up several million more dollars.
	Sit EE - not a fan, suspect defense and has he ever hit a ball to rightfield?  Maybe Votto can play Leftfield (he has to be as good as Dunn was and let's face it Votto is not a very good first baseman anyway) and we can move EE to first base because he can't field for crap at third base.  Aww play him everyday at 3B now and hope he can throw the ball.
	Pitch Arroyo on 3 days rest every time you can slot him into Beliese's spot in the rotation - maybe Arroyo will be too busy to make anymore JTM guitar commercials UPDATE - HE'S SIMPLY NOT THAT GOOD.  He's signed and he's ok ... I'd slide him down to #4 in the rotation for 2009 behind Harang, Volquez, the guy we sign with all of the money we now have, Arroya, Cuerto
	Duct Tape George Grande to a slow-moving train out of Cincinnati - get'emon/get'emover/get'emin ... can the guy just shut the hell up for a second?  I've met George a few times, nicest guy in the world, but you don't have to talk every friggin second of the game. UPDATE - SPOT-WELD HIM TO A METAL RICKSHAW AND ROLL IT DOWN THE
	BIGGEST MOTHERF***IN HILL IN THE STATE.  George is a nice guy but man is he a bad announcer - announcing a bad team which is a bad combo.
	Previous bullet items that no longer apply
	Get Griffey out of the third spot in the batting order - at least he's not clogging up the bases by getting on base UPDATE UPDATE - THE ONLY YEAR I WANT HIM TO GET HURT AND ALL HE GETS ARE "FLU-LIKE" SYMPTOMS ... WHAT THE HELL ARE FLU-LIKE SYMPTOMS?  BACK IN 1986, AFTER 9 HOURS OF CONTINUOUSLY DRINKING VODKA, I HAD FLU-LIKE SYMPTOMS FOR 2 DAYS BUT GOT OUT OF THE HOTEL BED IN ZANESVILLE AND PLAYED IN THE STATE SOFTBALL TOURNAMENT.  at least the White Sox aren't dumb enough to bat him third.
	Trade Griffey - no one wants him even at a reduced rate UPDATE - CAN'T SEE THIS HAPPENING, TOO COSTLY, TOO LITTLE PRODUCTION, TOO BAD FOR US.  they did trade him ... the White Sox are going to be pissed in about two weeks when they realize he isn't good anymore. 12/29/08 Update - White Sox let him go and Jr. has not signed anywhere yet - a sure sign the Reds' kept him at least two years longer than they should have ... nice guy - great player in his prime but he has to be done.  Still not signed - but neither are productive hitters like Manny and Dunn.  Back to Seattle.
	Release Patterson - Sent to Minors ... good enough, now Dusty won't be tempted to play him UPDATE - AWWW SHIT HE'S BACK AND WHEN COREY'S IN THE HOUSE, DUSTY SPORTS WOOD AND PLAYS THE LITTLE FUCKER.  he has made some fine defensive plays recently but check out his batting stats - with Griffey, Dunn, Patterson, Ross already gone and more high priced/low talent guys going as well (Valentin, Fogg), exactly how much money have we freed up for 2009 ... it's over $30 million and climbing.  Go Walt go ... keep cleaning house baby - you are a Maid running a baseball team - get the cobwebs out of the house and perhaps you can have company over (like in FANS).  12/29/08 Update - Baker's wind-up toy signed with the team the Reds' dump all of their waste products - Washington.  Hope he hits .310 with 40 steals and 25 HR's so we have more data that Baker is a tool.
	Release Valentin - Yes he is a good pinch hitter but not if he only plays once every three weeks.  He was a good pinch hitter last year because he caught 2-3 games a week, who can hit batting once or twice every 2-3 weeks.  He's a better pinch hitter as the second catcher, not the third catcher. UPDATE - WHO CARES  see directly above
	Release Hatteberg - Nice guy, bad pinch hitter, 37 or 38 years old and lefthanded hitter UPDATE - HE'S STILL RELEASED  just another one of Dusty's ideas on what a good player looks like and just another player released or traded from his Opening Day starting 8
	Release Fogg - What a horrible, horrible waste of a million dollars - just another bullet in the gun that shot Krivsky UPDATE - WHEN/IF THE FOGG ROLLS BACK INTO CINCY, YOU KNOW THEY HAVE GIVEN UP.  see above somewhere

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