Classic Rock

Hey I like the songs from 60's and 70's and 80's but for fuck's sake, can we stop playing them on the radio every six seconds.  Baby Boomers (and I am one of them) did not invent good music, they simply love playing the same stupid shit on the radio all the time.  The music was not that great to begin with ... and after thirty-five years or so, the songs have become trite, stale and boring - not unlike most people after you know them that long.

And really, no matter how good the music might have been, I believe Tiger Woods proved that ... no matter how hot a woman is (like his ex-wife), there's always some guy out there that's tired of fucking her.  That's a simile or a metaphor or a comparison.  In other words, the same music for 20-30-40 years eventually goes bad.

These singers/group should be banned forever from radio (unless they record something new - which might be more difficult for the dead ones)

• Bob Seger - and he should never sing the National Anthem before a game on HDTV as it clearly showed he has yellow teeth that looked a little bit like Stonehenge.
   
• Genesis - their only chance was to keep Peter Gabriel in the group, as soon as he left, every piece of shit song was the same - some actually make me violently ill as Phil Collins chased hiding male pattern baldness longer than any human ever.
   
• Eagles - And it's not because Glen Frye "hit" on my sister at a party in Vail, Colorado back in 1985 ... it's because their songs after 30 or 40 years have become awful.  "Oh oh ohhhhh ... sweet darling ... you get the best of my love" ... Fuck You.
   
• Boston - you would think a band that took 1000 years between albums would actually be good.
   
• Foreigner - quite possibly the worst group of all time.  Their song Juke Box Hero was so fucking bad and stupid I actually had to buy the album just so I could take a shit on it.
   
• Doobie Brothers - the only good thing about this band is that if you get a chance to meet them, you can say - "Which Doobie you be?"
   
• Led Zeppelin - same songs, same melody, same date rape squealing by Robert Plant ... "Way, Way down inside ... Gonna give you every inch of my love" ... how did the hell did that shit get on the radio back back in the '70's?
   
• Elton John - hearing his songs sends a pain right up ass - just like Elton intended.  When he sings "... well it's packed pretty tight in here tonight ..." I feel uneasy.  But after over 40 years of hearing Your Song ... "It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside" (which he wrote as the ... uh ... receiver during a romp with Juan the pool boy), I produce bile and have to leave the room.
   
• John Mellencamp - I liked him better when he was John Cougar - but he had to keep it real so he took his original name back and produced some music videos that proved two things ... 1. He looks a little bit like Charlie Manson ... and 2. He can't dance for shit.
   
• Tom Petty - aside from the fact that he is starting to look like an Egyptian Mummy, his songs after so many years are horrible.  Singing like Bob Dylan can only get you so far ... especially when you look like you died near the Nile River in the year 2638 BC ...
   
• Journey - Thirty years of this band are enough.  All of the original band members hate Steve Perry - who joined the band in 1977 - as the little cheesedick took a mildly hard rock band into wispy ballads sung by a Pee Wee Herman look-alike with long hair.  I shit nuclear waste when I hear "Open Arms".
   
• AC/DC - post Bon Scott only.  I can't listen to the replacement fuck as he wears that stupid looking hat and looks like he is having seven heart attacks when he is screeching/singing - he sucks.  Bon was everything you want in a rock star ... cool, whacked out of his mind on drugs and alcohol ... and dead at age 33.